卿卿细语

FINALLY back

2011-09-22T19:57:00.002+08:00

I'm finally back to my dear blog! Going to keep it short.

Many things had happened, and more are coming on their way. Finally hit the mid 20s, and I feel very different, or maybe it's because the customary wedding is becoming a reality, and it means I will have to grow up and move out of my parents comfort zone in some ways or other.

Some progressions at work. A couple of big events took place. The GE, the PE. And I am glad that I was involved at work. New challenges in work, my maiden story for Frontline will be telecast tomorrow 23/9/11, 10.30pm, channel 8. Do show support! Not just for me, but for all Mediacorp productions. I know many says Mediacorp productions are substandard, but I am being very honest that all of us put our hearts and soul into each and every production. Do watch, and give us feedback on how to improve. We will greatly appreciate, or at least myself, I do see it that way.

Time to rush home to get my daddy his birthday cake! :)

Emo-ing

2011-04-14T09:42:00.002+08:00

Overslept today! Bahhh........manage to rush to studio in time, but then still very disappointed with myself. No time to study, no time to do my house, no time to spend with my family. No time. No time. Actually "No time" is an excuse. I am just procrastinating. But it's hard to move on when i'm emo-ing. Bah!

感谢。感恩。

2011-04-11T14:06:00.003+08:00

虽然近来发生许多不如意的事情，但是很感谢的是我看到了身边用真心对待我的人。对这些爱我的家人和朋友，我只能说一句发自内心的谢谢。你们是老天赐给我的恩典。

Peace before the storm

2011-03-31T16:36:00.002+08:00

There's always peace before the storm, it applies to alot of things, but for now, i am referring to work. and well, this line keeps getting stuck in my head. a failure is someone who dont even try.

To hubby: Happy vday, Happy bday!

2011-02-13T23:48:00.003+08:00

Dear dear, i hope you have enjoyed yourself these 2 days. It's really very cham that you have to be slogging your guts out on actual vday and your bday.

Happy vday, and happy bday!

I love you!

2011兔年

2011-02-02T22:01:00.002+08:00

今年的农历新年过得非常不一样，25年来，从来没有过的，统统在这除夕夜开始发生。

最后一次在除夕夜在家里跟家人吃团圆饭，之后可能就很难这么做。

今年年夜饭，少了外公的巡逻。

今年的大年初初一，我需要工作，不能为父母长辈守岁。

今年，没有外公一起过年，我真的不知道我会怎么过。

不过还是要祝大家新年快乐，兔年平安顺利，身体健康。

Back from Taipei!

2011-01-07T23:10:00.002+08:00

The taipei trip did me good. I felt recharged! Although it was only 4 days, but enjoyed the weather, shopping and people in Taipei.

Hubby wanted to go Hongkong this Feb to celebrate V day and his bday, but may not come through because he has to rush through his project, working on a very tight deadline. I am actually very looking forward to it and keeping my fingers come through that it will come through, because I will need another good break after working through this January. Oh well, I will leave it to fate to decide.

Done quite a bit of work recently, and the flu bug and cough made it worst. Taipei trip did me good, although travelling itself is tired, but somehow I know it gave me the energy to go through another challenging period.

Will be working on CNY this year, something very different for me. Will wake up at 5am and wish my parents happy chinese new year. And for the first year, I will not be able to stay through the night and countdown because I need to sleep, will be SD-ing on the 1st and 2nd day of CNY. No sleep is a big disaster for SD!

Feeling lazy, wont be posting my Taipei trip photos. But I must say I enjoyed the Flora Expo! It's definitely worth the money and trip! If there's a chance, please do go! I took lots and lots of photos there! I miss the flowers so much as I go through the photos, aweeeee.......

30122010-2nd year ROM anniversary

2010-12-31T00:01:00.004+08:00

Happy 2nd ROM anniversary dear dear!

Wonderful day spent with you today, lots of walking, lots of food, lots of love.

Days are always sweet with you when we dont fight. Really appreciate these few weeks that we have got closer to each other again.

Honey, I love you.

And I'm looking forward to 24/1/2011. We are going to get our house keys!!

100天

2010-12-28T21:07:00.002+08:00

今天是外公过逝100天。阿姨们回家亲自下厨，煮了一道道美味佳肴，请外公吃。时不时我都会到光明山找外公说话，背景播放佛经，再烦，在那里心也能平静下来。昨天又去找外公了，陪他说话，向他报告家里的情况，请他照顾保佑一家大小。
外公永远那么贴心。周末还特地来找我，交代我跟大家说祭拜过后要马上吃午餐。他向来就是担心我们的肚子，而且时时叮咛食物要趁热吃。这种亲情无法说明白，是一种非常亲密，非常微妙的。
这就是我的外公，那么的贴心。我最爱的外公。思念是忧伤的，也是甜蜜的。

dearest guardian angel

2010-12-11T22:43:00.003+08:00

really glad the day went off pretty nicely. though it started off with some fury, but i'm glad it ended on a peaceful note. told grandfather before i went out today to watch over me, and he did, as he always had. my dearest grandfather, he had always been my guardian angel.

i'm missing my grandfather very badly. it felt like it just happened yesterday, holding his hands, feeding him, talking to him. i still remember how he finished the food i cooked for him. a big regret, i cant have him at my wedding. i guess it's really difficult for anyone to completely understand the bond i have with my grandfather. it's ironic, i know he's still with me, but yet it's still painful to me that he is physically not around anymore. beautiful memories i have with him, that belongs only to me and him, and no one will ever understand how much i miss him, and why it's still so painful to me.

Planning for the big day 30122011

2010-12-07T12:40:00.002+08:00

I've never like the feeling of doing things at the last minute, especially if it's a BIG event that needs careful planning. I like to go into details, and ensure as many of the small things are covered.

The 3 big things of the wedding 30122011 has been confirmed. Venue, bridal shop and photography. Another big thing is the customary part, also the rundown and programme for the actual day.

Hubby's concerned with the budget for the dinner, whereas I'm particular about the food quality. With some recce, and help from a good friend, dinner's confirmed at Orchard Parade Hotel. Hubby's happy with the price, and I am more confident in them to deliver me with delicious food. We did some customisation with the menu, but overall we are very happy with what is presented to us. Having tried quite a number of items from the various Tung Lok restuarants menu, some of the items on the wedding menu are familiar to me, and I have tried them before, which left me very satisfied and happy after each meal. I have to say it's a pretty good bargain that I've got, of course with the help of a friend.

Next is the bridal studio. Since 2 years ago during the research for the ROM, I have looked at various bridal studios portfolios, and I fell in love with Michelle Huimin's designs. Let me explain why I looked at bridal studio portfolios then. I was searching for a photographer who can cover my ROM shooting, and along the way I came across the various bridal studios designs of the wedding gowns. Also then I was looking around at dresses, hoping to find the style that I would like for my ROM dress. Some girls dream of a Vera Wang dress, but I dream of a Michelle Huimin dress, because I love her designs and style, simple yet elegant. Some may say her designs are far too plain, or the dresses look similar, but I trust that she would come up with a dress that is made specially for me, one that at first look they will know it's my wedding dress. Their package is slightly more expensive then the usual bridal studios, but it comes with MTM wedding gown, evening gown, suit for the man, 2 sets of jewellery for free rental, car decoration, corsages, 1 free rental of the kua or bridesmaid dress, make up and bridal bouquet for actual day. Evening dress and men's suit to keep. Hubby and I are open about whether to keep the wedding gown, this will depends on the design and amount for top-up. We took the simplicity package with photography. We decided on the studio photography, with advice from Kelvin J Lim from Avenue 8. Bridal Veil works with various photography studios, and Avenue 8 is one of them, therefore it's a bonus. Kelvin did our ROM shooting, and we had such great fun with him, there was a good rapport amongst us, and he captured exactly what we had in mind! And there are only positive comments from people who had seen our photos. I told hubby I would love to have Kelvin to do the rest of our photography for our wedding, and yes, we will be having him for the pre-wedding and actual day.

With wedding venue, bridal studio and photography checked, that leaves us with time to plan for the actual day rundown and programme. Of course there is the design of the gowns, suit and pre-wedding shoot, but I know hubby and I are in good hands. We can leave most of the headache to the professionals. Next up will be our flat. Design, contractor, renovation...

Alot of people say there's still more than a year to the wedding, but with so many things to take care of, it's definitely good to be kiasu and start early.

晕晕晕，吐吐吐

2010-11-29T17:39:00.003+08:00

彻夜难眠，偏头痛发作。不时感到晕眩，感觉一来，就吐得不清不楚。

即使好不容易睡着了，还是被噩梦缠身，搞到一天没精没神。

周公啊周公！小妹怎么得罪您了啊？我们不是好朋友的吗？

辩论之余。。。

2010-11-08T13:37:00.006+08:00

虽然不是全职做辩论会，但是还是calefare了两天。废话不多说。欣赏照片就好了。。。《早安您好》团队。“第一道阳光，第一手资讯。。。”
《焦点》编导陈伟豪（豪哥）摇身一变，成了专业摄影师！
我心目中的偶像导播，陆彩萍小姐。。。
身兼多职的静思。公司没有她，我就会很惨很惨！
专心听导游说话啦！《前线追踪》+《早安您好》工作团队。
树源和有懿。有懿其实在指着桌上的一盘龙虾沙律，可是不懂为什么uncle看起来那么凶！
静思和树源。
主播赵文蓓和静思。
轮到我跟蓓蓓和照。
来来来。我们三个也来一张。
《焦点》主持人曾月丽+我在公司里的“干妈”珍玉姐+我。
我跟王昌伟老师+师母。

BREATHE!!!!

2010-11-03T08:09:00.002+08:00

work is not any less, in fact more. the roster dont tell the truth.

but i am happy with my work, because i have learnt a lot more new things, and i am absolutely proud of it.

i just need to learn how to breathe properly, so that i wont die of lack of oxyen.

第六感

2010-10-03T23:08:00.002+08:00

向来就知道自己是个第六感比较强的人。对灵异事件也比较敏感。

有时准确性指数高得让我觉得可怕。梦完之后总是胆战心惊，因为害怕梦会变成事实。

很多人说“梦和现实是相反的。”，我也希望如此。但是对我而言并非如此。

这股莫名的第六感，我久久找不到解释，但是它却那么的真实。

逃避还是面对

2010-09-30T10:16:00.002+08:00

说是逃避也好，说是面对也罢，日子还不是一样要过。

永远怀念

2010-09-29T14:52:00.003+08:00

最亲的外公走了。不敢相信。心痛，但是改变不了事实。

心里很清楚要振作，让外公走得安心，但就是无法忍住泪水。回忆当年，鼻子一酸，泪水就不停留下。

事情发生得太突然，还来不及做心理准备，恶梦就发生了。

什么都不能做，只能告诉外公：阿公，放心。我会好好照顾阿嫲。

Expect the unexpected

2010-09-15T08:01:00.003+08:00

"Expect the unexpected”，这是一个前辈对我的忠告。

一句并不难理解的句子，但是背后学问真不浅。

在努力消化这个句子，因为去认识它，去了解它，它会变成你的力量。

最近有些没气没力，只能通过各种管道找力量，让自己继续有气有力的过下去。

晴天前的暴风雨暴雨前的晴天

2010-08-12T15:44:00.002+08:00

人生起伏不定，起起落落是日常生活中的一部分。

吊诡也是人生中的一部分。

风平浪静的时候，可能是一场大暴风雨的前奏。

经过大风大浪的洗礼之后，可能就是一个人脱胎换骨的时候。

成长成长。

Trapped in the rain...

2010-07-30T10:57:00.000+08:00

I was wet from head to toe when I reached the office. The rain was so heavy, and the water level at bus stop in Thomson came up to my ankle. Disgusting, had to splash my leg with water when I reached office.

I dont like it...

同党

2010-07-29T11:17:00.002+08:00

我的犯罪同党。。。巴不得跟她一起去逍遥快活！

Melbourne days真快乐无比。。。

2010-07-19T15:47:00.002+08:00

虽然是短暂的假期，但是非常开心。为什么东西永远做不完？？？？

Disturbed.

2010-07-17T12:54:00.002+08:00

Terrible dreams that disrupt my life. Hate them. Hope such nightmares stay far far away from me. Including the irritating people inside my dreams. Go away and disappear.

I hope work takes me out of the disturbed mode.

Hubby

2010-05-03T08:08:00.003+08:00

With my dearest hubby

激动

2010-04-19T16:36:00.002+08:00

好喜欢今年《红星大奖》第一场颁奖典礼，勾起了我许多难忘的回忆。看见自己所熟悉的人坐在台上，等着公布得奖名单，我的心情是跟着他们起伏的。

心里默默地祈祷，希望“师傅”能够得奖。虽然得奖不成，但是他永远是我心目中最棒的编导。没有他的教导，就没有今天的我。虽然学到他的“臭样”，但是还是要感谢他当初那么细心的教导。

看了艺人们搬演出外景的片段，模仿熟悉的人，我是十分的感动。狂笑，不断的笑，甚至是热泪盈眶，因为想起了昔日回忆。有苦有乐，艰辛和快活，一点一滴，我从没忘记。

到现在为止，我的心情还是激动的。因为我相信有一天，努力耕耘者也会有大丰收的一天。师傅，我们一起加油！

干枯。。。

2010-04-06T16:40:00.002+08:00

很想写稿，可是却处于干枯状态，写不出什么像样的东西。

可能是睡眠不足，现在头晕晕的。不然就是人老了，东西看多了就老花。

写不出东西啊。。。

Twinkle twinkle little star

2010-03-28T20:02:00.002+08:00

I need to find a way to get the 'star' out of my head. It keeps appearing in my brain, and it irritates me because the craving gets worst.

Yes...I'm a star girl.

三八妇女节快乐！

2010-03-08T07:53:00.002+08:00

美丽的一天，好喜欢办公室此时此刻的宁静，可以专心的工作。

本来无需那么早起，但是早起未必是件坏事。这样一来我有更多的奋斗时间，多争取一些时间，把工作做得更好。

今天是三八妇女节，祝所有女性天天快乐！

赶工

2010-03-03T10:26:00.002+08:00

最近工作比较忙，天天在赶工。我知道自己欠下了许多饭局，我也好想跟老朋友聚在一起，就不知道什么时候可以做到。趁现在在等一些文件，就忙里偷闲，在这里跟大家交代一声。

合照

2010-02-19T12:38:00.003+08:00

群众要求，献上我跟林依晨的照片。本来不想上载的，因为让我觉得自己好肥，真的需要减肥了。林依晨好瘦！

还有另一张照片，跟林依晨和导演林奕华。

后记：从来没想原来有那么多人读我的部落各。

男人与女人

2010-02-17T22:25:00.003+08:00

你对男人的观点是什么？男人与女人之间的关系非常奇妙，男人不能没有女人，女人不能没有男人。少了女人，男人少了竞争者。少了男人，女人少了仰慕者。

好兴奋！做了那么久《早安您好》，心情从来没有那么激动过！期待明天林依晨上节目，心中暗暗祈祷可以跟她一起合照，留作纪念。我并不是迷恋她，而是很欣赏她，觉得她是一个很努力，很可爱，很清纯的女生。曾经看过她在《沈春华live》的访谈，才发现原来她生长在家教甚严的家庭里，母亲从小就非常小心栽培女儿，也难怪女儿如今有那么优异的成就。这次林依晨到访是为了《华艺节》的其中一项表演而来的。她会告诉我们什么是《男人与女人之战争与和平》。

从来对《华艺节》没有什么兴趣，但是今年却看上了《男人与女人之战争与和平》。刚刚买了门票，星期五放工后会跟小妹一起去看。虽然热衷于看舞台剧，歌舞剧等表演，但平时很少会去看。难得舍得花钱去看，我一定会看个尽兴！

人生中其实有许多小小的幸福，只要你仔细观察就能发现。老公，谢谢你成全，让我星期五可以小小的放众自己。

i promise i will be a good girl from now on

2010-02-09T11:45:00.002+08:00

i will go to the toilet dutifully from now onwards. this is the worst urinary tract infection that i ever had so far. high fever for 6 days, vomitting urges, aches all over the body, getting jabs in the butt by the GP but i still dont recover. i cant work, stuck at home, pile up work in office, and i have to drown myself in litres and litres of liquid, feel so bloated and feel like visiting the toilet every 5 mins, i'm so scared of it. i will be a good girl from now onwards. i will not control my pee anymore. i promise i will go to the toilet to clear my bladder regularly irregardless of anything else. when it's time to visit the toilet, i will go.

can feel my swollen kidneys, lumpy at the back, feeling really sore. also, i have learnt another lesson, i will go to my urologist immediately the next time if the 1st visit to the GP does not solve my urine infection. wasted so much money on going to the GP and suffered jabs that dont help much. the antibiotics given by the urologist work wonders, even though his charges dont come cheap, but at least i dont have to waste extra money on my also very expensive GP.

CNY is coming, i want to have fun, dont want to continue staying in bed. urine culture results coming out tmr, cant wait to find out which is the irritating bacteria that is so resistant to so many drugs. i will get rid of you completely this time round!

on a side note, private medical practice really very expensive! ouch!

MC=work from home

2010-02-05T16:19:00.002+08:00

Unbearable 2 days, high fever that goes up to 39.5 degrees Celsius, vomitting spells, stomachaches, problems peeing...there's so much work to do, but i really cant find the energy to do. Went back to office today, but I started shivering again as my body temperature shoots up. Seen my GP for the 2nd time this week, and gave me 2 jabs on the butt. SUPER PAINFUL! Then again, the jabs worked well, I'm feeling good now. Why didnt he give me the jab the first time i went to see him?!

Decided I should start working since I feel better now, making phone calls and writing emails. I hate to pile up work.

Old woman...

2010-01-26T14:10:00.003+08:00

Really disappointed that I have to miss my pilates class this week, due to a silly backache. The class is something that I look forward to very much every week. The backache just strikes without warning, disgusting. The pain was soo bad that I couldnt get out of bed, every inch was a torture. It had its signs of seriousness since last night. I had to drag myself home, good thing honey was with me and carried my bag home for me.

I know I sound like an old woman, someone who's in her early to mid twenties having backache sounds absurd. But scoliosis does give me quite abit of trouble. I am to be responsible for it, probably due to my bad posture over the years.

Think only acupuncture will help me most now....

Shiok!

2010-01-04T16:42:00.003+08:00

Feel so shiok now after the spa. Whole body feels so relaxed now...and I feel so sleepy now, so tempted to snuggle under the blanket and Zzzzzz. A spa treat, something that I wont do on a normal day, too expensive! However it serves as a good rare treat, I feel soooo good now, both physically and emotionally. I feel rested.

After procrastinating for so long, I have decided to go try out pilates. Doctor recommended me to go do it to correct my scoliosis problem, so that I will have less backaches. I have arranged for a trial session this Wednesday, hopefully I will fall in love with it so that I will continue with the exercise. Another reason why I want to do it is that I want to burn some fats and lose some kg. Please dont ask me anymore if I am pregnant, I AM NOT!!

I shall go do some reading now...best time to catch up on my reads when I dont need to work...

Fed up

2010-01-02T14:54:00.002+08:00

Feeling so irritated these few days, I feel more stress and tired when I am on leave. I'm supposed to be resting and recharging myself, but yet I feel even more sick. I feel so suffocated that I dont have my own breathing space, everything I do is for everybody, none for myself. Fed up. I rather go back to work because I know I am working for myself, something that I enjoy doing, and for myself.

Hate it. Trying to find all sorts of things that I can do for myself, for that little bit of self indulgence and self satisfaction.

第一次

2009-12-22T15:19:00.002+08:00

第一次独挑大梁，没有导师从旁指导，我录了《一点新闻》。

从刚开始的战战兢兢，到现在的比较冷静，是一个很奇妙的过程。时间可以磨练一个人，学习更多的东西，多懂一些东西，多掌握一项技能。

时间最会开溜，原来我在《早安》已经四个多月了。人生总有许许多多的“第一次”，在这里，我也尝试了许多“第一次”。回头想想，这些“第一次”是香甜的，是值得一再咀嚼的。

进步

2009-12-21T10:44:00.002+08:00

虽然非完美，但是总算有进步，这是对自己的一种鼓励。

我并非天才，但是也非庸才。少壮不努力，老大图悲伤。乘年轻的时候打拼，多学习一些，多经历一些，当作永恒的回忆。

只要每一天是一种进步，我就心满意足。

思念

2009-12-17T17:05:00.003+08:00

“思念是一种很悬的东西。。。”

歌词是这么写的。思念可以让我喜极而泣，思念可以让我痛哭流涕。

思念我的先生，好想紧握他的双手，把他紧紧的抱在怀胞里。

思念我的死党，好久没有跟她通过一杯平凡无奇的咖啡，有一蹋没一蹋的跟她胡闹了。

Frustration

2009-12-04T19:18:00.002+08:00

Hello dear colleagues, you may not be reading this, but then if you dont know what I am going through currently, please dont make invalid comments.

Life is shit, no one's life is perfect, including mine. The real situation is that some lives can be more shit then the others, this is the only difference.

Alot of frustration, but I know there are ways to resolve them.

Try harder to kill me. I wont die.

Smile!

Rare treats

2009-11-13T23:13:00.005+08:00

Rare occassion when I meet these lovely ladies for leisure and not for work!

Dearest husband

2009-11-12T22:59:00.002+08:00

Honey, it's been so long we last held our hands with love, embrace and kiss with warmth.

I'm sorry for the things that I could have done better but I didnt, although there are really things really out of my control.

Baby, I really miss you.

In search of inner peace

2009-11-11T10:41:00.002+08:00

Has been a long time since I blogged. Same old reasons, too busy to blog. There's so much that I want to tell YOU, but I decided not to give you more pressure.

I'm really sorry to all who loves me, because of what is happening at home, I'm really badly stretched. I dont want to go into the details of what is happening at home, for loved ones who are close, you would have known.

Everyday is a struggle, a war to fight with all odds to overcome obstacles. Everyday I am telling myself I need to be strong, because I need my loved ones, I need to be strong enough to spend the days happily. When there is inner peace in one's heart, no matter how difficult things may be, one will be content with life, and find happiness even amongst disasters. This is something which I am looking forward to achieving, learn to be REALLY strong, and not just a front.

Husband, thank you for helping me with managing my family's condition. Thank you for helping me to become a stronger person. Thank you for letting me know how important I am to you, thank you for your love. We went through so much to get together, and I hope our relationship can withstand all hardships and like what we promised in our wedding vows, to walk hand in hand, in times of good and bad, till eternal. I love you honey.

I have to thank my lovely family, we have grown closer, and learn to express ourselves to each other better, showing love for one another in a more open manner.

To my dearest lovelies, thank you for being there for me, rendering your help and love in whichever way possible. Auntie Chee, thank you for your love and advices. Thank you for helping me to manage my dear mother and sister. Also, my dearest buddy, I know you are just as busy coping with work, studies and life, but you always come in at the right time to knock sense into me. Such a friendship is hard to come by, thank you my dearest lao ban niang.

Not forgetting my bosses and colleagues, thank you guys for guiding me in my work, also the understanding that sometimes due to some unforeseen circumstances, I need help in my work. I'm very happy to have join the big GMS and Chinese CA family, you guys make work a pleasure. There is so much more to learn in office, and I look forward to learning more from all of you.

I really think the search of inner peace is very important, because it is the stem of happiness. When one can reconcile with his/her own heart with all that is happening in life, life is made easier. There's still so much knowledge and wisdom to acquire in life, and they come with life experiences. I totally agree with it. As the Chinese saying goes：经一事，长一智.

失眠

2009-10-14T21:43:00.002+08:00

失眠已久，造成极度困扰。很想可以像之前倒头就睡，可是现在就是不能。

烦。

冲！

2009-09-28T22:49:00.002+08:00

为了更美好的明天，所以拚拚拼！

虽然累，但是看到自己的作品在电视上引人注意，这是安慰。

很快的，就过去了。

冲！

没有失踪

2009-09-15T18:32:00.002+08:00

天啊，许多关心我的朋友都认为我从人间蒸发掉了。

放1000个心，我还在。刚刚在8月24日加入时事组《早安您好》的节目团队，除了忙学习和适应新工作，还在忙节目革新的工作。天天起早摸黑起床入摄影棚工作，接着就是忙行政，写稿，联络人，找片，剪片，找资料，太多太多东西做了。当上节目编导，面对更大的工作挑战。

谢谢大家关心，有空我一定找大家叙旧！

一句老话，如果有任何节目素材，吁请大家通知我，多多关照。

我也是平凡人

2009-08-14T19:19:00.002+08:00

24年的岁月，不算长，但是可以发生的事情太多太多了。好事坏事，通通都有可能发生。谁多谁少，谁也不知道。

人生，若可以平平静静过完，这是最大的幸福。不必大红大紫，不必名声大噪，只要日子过的平安，平静就足以满足。

一直觉得日子必须过的多姿多彩，不让青春留白才不枉此生。或许我错了。平平凡凡过日子，没有大起大落，就此过完一生也不赖。

我也是一个平凡人，什么时候日子才能平静下来？

44岁生日

2009-08-09T00:34:00.002+08:00

国庆日，一个举国欢腾的日子。祝新加坡生日快乐。

今时今日跟过去大不相同。

曾经去过的地方，今日再去，心是痛的。

曾经吃过的东西，今日再吃，心是痛的。

曾经度过的节日，今日再过，心是痛的。

国家的生日，充满了福气。国家的福气如果可以散播开来给每一个人民，我愿意把我所得到的好运转到至亲的人身上。

再辛苦，我也愿意承受，只要我们的日子可以恢复平静。

早安

2009-07-31T07:20:00.002+08:00

很久没有痛快地跟大家说声“早安”！今天总算有这个机会。

昨晚调好了闹钟，设定在五点半和五点四十五分响，“希望”能够把我叫醒。

多数时候，闹钟响了又响，我还是死赖在床上，继续神游太虚幻境。

今天破例，闹钟还没响，我就被“筋”醒了。

右腿突然抽筋，整个肌肉僵硬，让我一时措手不及。

本来就想早点起来工作，这下子真的起来了。

吃了早餐，开了电脑，注意力从工作转移其他琐碎事务。

约了好姐妹见面，眼看时间差不多，不禁感叹时间不等人。

When a woman loves a man- Westlife

2009-07-19T01:45:00.002+08:00

When a woman loves a man- Westlife

When the stars are in her eyes
And the sun is in her smile
The only moment in a life
That happens the same time
Is when a woman loves a man

She'll be a mother and a child
Sacrifice her days and nights
And no other will exsist
She'll put her life in every kiss
When a woman loves a man

And you'll be amazed at when you're stumbling
She'll fight for you
And won't let you give in
She'll do all that she can
When a woman loves a man

A soothing breeze always blows
Somebody understands another soul
It's like the planets have aligned
Every sentence has a rhyme
When a woman loves a man

Oh, you'll be amazed how when
You're needing it
She'll fight for you
From the begining to the end
And she'll do all that she can
When a woman loves a man

It's the greatest gift of all
Knowing tht unconditionally
She'll catch you when you fall

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Oooohh, yeah
When a woman loves a man

When the stars are in her eyes
And the sun is in her smile
She'll be a mother and a child
But all at the same time
When a woman loves a man

She'll be your air,
She'll bring you life
She'll make me sacrifice
When a woman loves a man

Honey I really love you. I hope you understand that I really wish to get out of all the difficult situation and our biggest problem solved. I'm sorry that I'm a bitch sometimes, and I dont give you a good time when I'm being a brat, but sometimes I just want the attention from you.

I have said all that I have said, all I wish is that our life together can move on smoothly.

Husband, I love you.

贵人

2009-07-15T13:38:00.002+08:00

干妈曾经替我看过手相，说我命中有许多贵人。不论发生什么事，都会逢凶化吉，吉人天相。

很感谢身边的贵人，谢谢你们在我最脆弱的时候扶了我一把，让我能够站起来，看清楚问题，重新走下去。

可能有一天会没有贵人再来帮我，我不知道可不可以靠自己的力量来化险为夷，也只能走一步看一步。

我前面的日子很长很远，但是还是需要走下去。

路是自己走的，但是走的每一步路都会影响身边的每一个人，所以我会走得更加小心谨慎。

3 Cheers!

2009-07-06T03:49:00.003+08:00

This calls for a celebration! The full scripts are out! Even though there are going to be more and more amendments coming along the way, but the long and dreary part is over!

Should be sleeping now. Probably no more nightmares tonight. Sweet dreams everyone! Muacks!

A bit of everything

2009-07-05T13:44:00.002+08:00

It's been so long since I did a proper update. There are so much to say, impossible to share everything in this little blog of mine.

Life was a mess weeks back. I'm so afraid to even look back at what happened. To summarise, I love my husband too much to lose him. As far as possible I want to make every effort to make my husband happy, to be a good wife, but I dont know how I can avoid the lapses sometimes.

Seriously rethinking about my future. Perhaps it's time to wake up from the dreams, and admit that life is a bitch. Have job offers on sales and finance management, but I know these are a definite no-no, because I will not enjoy it at all. I still love my current job the most, but instability is a big deterrance. Afterall I am already 24 and a married woman, my life works out differently from girls of the same age. I'm very grateful to hubby that he let me started out on this job, although it doesnt seem to carve out quite a proper career path for me. But hubby gave me the chance to enjoy production. I hope I can continue with it, but again, instability is a big issue.

Buddy left Singapore, I hope I can survive this 2 and half years without her around. She's only away for 2 weeks and I am already missing her so badly! (I cant imagine if it's my husband who's away, I will probably fed-ex myself over to him after the next day he left.)

Went for a short run yesterday with hubby, really surprised that my legs are not aching at all! Phew! I will slowly increase my running regimen, besides to get fitter, I want to lose all the fats!

Determined to lose weight again, because my darling hairstylist asked me if I'm pregnant. A big disaster, I've put on too much weight to let her have the wrong idea. Yes darling, I am married for more than half a year, but I'm definitely not pregnant now, and will not be in the near future.

Working very hard on current project, counting down to finishing it. Irony is that at the same time I am scared of it coming to an end, because I may be jobless again after that. But the desire to finish it is so much greater. Hopefully I get good news soon, everyone please pray that I get THE job, combines 2 of my greatest job ambitions together.

Had slight food poisoning in the morning, diarrhoea and vomitting. Appetite is coming back. Craving for MacDonald's Cinnamon melts now.

Time to get back to work and finish them before dinner with husband.

好想。。。

2009-07-01T15:55:00.001+08:00

生活中的问题和压力接踵而来，时间久了，所有的力气和精神都用得七七八八。

怀念台湾蜜月的日子。

好想好想什么都不想，让大脑解放。

忙。累。

2009-06-12T23:27:00.002+08:00

忙不足以形容刚果的这个星期，我现在是精疲力尽。但是还有很多工作要赶。

下个星期公司放假，但是我的工作依旧。

累死我了。

现在该好好去睡一觉。

晚安。

The Man

2009-06-02T20:45:00.002+08:00

I love this quote: You dont marry the person that you can live with, but you marry the person whom you cannot live without.

missing the man

2009-05-28T00:43:00.003+08:00

I dont like this feeling now. I love this man and want the rest of my life with him.

Hope

2009-05-22T23:50:00.002+08:00

So much had happened in just 2 months plus, so many downs, with few ups.

Pray for my brother. Pray that God will save his life. I believe in the power of prayers, no matter which God we each pray to.

I may not be especially close to my brother, but I've seen him grown up, for 20 years. My brother never gives up, I know no matter how hard, he will pushes himself to do the best.

I may be pushy, but whatever I get my brother to do now, it is to buy him more time, more power to fight the war. Please pray for Melvin.

Thank you.

跟我一起护发

2009-05-07T23:43:00.002+08:00

你是否被头发头皮问题困扰？试过各种方法但是都不见效呢？我这里有个机会，让你可以到北京101尝试护理。如果你有面对这方面的问题，或者是知道有谁有这方面的苦恼，尽管联络我，看看可以做些什么安排。我会陪你们一起走过这护理过程。

it's life

2009-04-24T15:21:00.002+08:00

I dont know how to answer exactly when people ask me how's things recently. Alot of bad news, but finally there are a few good ones.

Please dont pity me, my brother or any one of us at family. We need support, not pity.

I didnt go missing, always contactable 24/7 on mobile.

hello

2009-04-12T09:53:00.002+08:00

hello! many concerned people have asked me where i have gone to recently, wondering if i had disappeared. i'm still around. got very sick last week, gastrointestinal viral infection, kept me in bed for 4 days. still busy with the same old things, even though there are new additions everyday. enough to knock me out at the end of each day. bad sleep makes things worst for me, screaming in my dreams every now and then. continuous nightmares, bad dreams, freaky enough to wake me up from sleeps.

but still. HELLO! i'm around. always reachable by mobile.

爱心早餐

2009-03-30T10:10:00.002+08:00

泻了整个早上，现在肚子是在呱呱叫，嚷着要东西填满里面的洞。最近嘴巴和舌头都比较顽皮，会跟我的大脑点菜。

这两天小妮子的状况不太好，所以最好是待在家里休息，早日调养好身子，才能回到医院帮弟弟打气。老弟已经开始化疗，所以身体很虚弱，免疫能力超低，容易受细菌感染。要帮助弟弟，就是别让他和太多人接触，和他接触的人必须是健康的，有任何伤风感冒咳嗽的，万万不能接近弟弟。老弟也许要多多休息，所以探访他时也请别超过15分钟。

所以啦，我这个做老姐的，即使急如热锅上的蚂蚁，我还是要以身作则，保护我的弟弟。

呆在家里也好，我有些东西赶着要完成。我可以趁机会把该做的都做完。

肚子好饿，好期待我的爱心早餐。（我在等老公把热烘烘的早餐送上我家。。。）

很庆幸我嫁了个好老公。

I know what I am doing

2009-03-26T10:14:00.003+08:00

I'm getting sick of explaining the same things over and over again. I am okay, really! Although still learning, but then I am trying to adjust my life to juggle them properly all at the same time. There will be times when I will have to let loose of some, while holding on a tighter rein to the others. At other times, I will have to reverse the situation.

Hubby is right. My brother is the one going through the most now. If he can move on strongly, why can I? I admit there were days that I were weak, almost crumbling, but it didnt get to me that badly. I'm doing perfectly well now, doing things not only for my brother, but also for myself and the rest of the family. I do get tired, but all I need is a good nap to recover. Things are easy for me, but not so easy for my brother.

I have signed up to be a participant in the Bone Marrow Donor Programme. It's a voluntary public donor programme where one needs only a small prick on the finger for the nurses to get the blood sample and upload it to the database. The nurses asked me if I was crazy to sign up as a participant, as my HLA does not match my brother's. Uploading it to the bank will not help my brother. I know my bone marrow would not be of any help to my brother. However it does not mean my bone marrow cannot help other patients. I would most gladly offer mine to anyone who needs it, because I can hear the hearts of many calling out for help, be it patients or the family members.

Anyway, all is for a good cause. For anyone interested, please do find out more about the programme.

Nana Auntie

2009-03-21T23:17:00.003+08:00

Dearest Nana Auntie,

I'm sure you have seen what happened for the past 2 weeks. Thank you for giving me all the strength to survive these 2 weeks, and more to come as days go by. I finally found the courage to watch the video that you left for all of us. I watched it again just a few mins ago, but I gave up halfway through, because I couldnt bear to continue anymore. Nana auntie, this is how we used to call you back in school, a nickname that all of us used to call you fondly.

Doctors and nurses who used to take care of you in SGH haematology still remember you deep down in their hearts. I'm convinced that you made the decision for my brother to be under the care of Dr Yvonne Loh, it's not a matter of coincidence. The truth came to me after I flipped through what you left for me. Senior staff nurse Norain misses you greatly. As I talked to her about you, I could see tears floating in her eyes. You were everyone's sunshine, inspiration and role model for everybody.

Nana auntie, I have nothing but only one request to ask. Please watch over my brother and give him all the strength, luck and courage to overcome the illness. I rather take over all the suffering, as long as my brother recovers. I'm thankful for the support that my brother, my family and I have received so far since the bad news set in, and I know you have a part in giving us all the strength. Nana auntie, you had always been a big sister taking care of me in school, and providing me with all the advices and shoulder whenever possible. You had always been by my side. Right now, I can feel your presence even more. Nana auntie, you are also the eldest at home, you know very well how I feel. Nana auntie, please protect my brother.

我究竟是谁？

2009-03-20T09:34:00.003+08:00

我已经不再认识自己，我究竟是谁，我一点感觉都没有。每天就像行尸走肉般的，不论做什么事，心里只有一个目标：治好我的弟弟。

没有一样事情是顺心的。应征了几份工作，都落选了。家里虽然不需要等着我来开饭，但是还是希望作为姐姐的，可以在金钱上有些贡献，而不只是找最好的医生，最好的治疗方法，准备最有营养的食物给他。一天下来，我是累得倒头就睡，灵魂不知飘到何处，随它而去。等到该起来的时候，才匆匆把灵魂召唤回来，开始另一天“丧失自我”的模式。

今天是老妈的生日，不幸弟弟在医院。真的不知道可以做些什么注入一些欢乐和笑声给家人。

谢谢大家近日的关心。我也不知道现在最需要的是什么协助。医药费方面迟早会是个问题，但是这并不是我现在最在意的。最重要的是弟弟可以顺利的完成治疗，接受到最好的治疗，早日康复。帮弟弟祈祷吧，祝愿他可以早日康复。祈祷我或者妹妹的骨髓跟弟弟的是吻合的。祈祷所有事情已经到了低谷，好消息会逐渐而来。我们一起祈祷吧。

Update: Shortly after I finished writing this post, my brother's doctor informed me that my bone marrow does not match my brother's. Please help me pray that my sister will be a match for my brother.

Thank you

2009-03-13T10:42:00.002+08:00

Dear all,

Thank you everyone for your concern! Currently we have enough donors as of now, although the hospital foresee the need for more as the treatment goes on.

Platelets donation for a specific patient requires a lot of patience and committment, as the patient would require platelets donation on a regular and frequent basis. There is always the public blood bank, but with a regular pool of donors, it will be a bonus for my brother as his body would not be required to adjust to the blood of so many different people as leukemia treatment is a long process. So I strongly urge everyone to think about donation seriously as it will not be a one time off thing to be a donor for my brother, as each session of donation will last 2 hours, it takes alot of time and effort. As the family of the recipient, I have to be honest to all of you. For those who have come for the screening, please do come forward with your platelets after my brother starts my chemotherapy next week.

Once again I thank everyone for your kind intentions on behalf of my family and brother.

May God Bless all of you.

With Love,
Mavis

Plea of O+ donors for platelets

2009-03-11T21:53:00.001+08:00

Dear all,

I have no choice but to share this piece of bad news with all.

My brother, Chng Hao Guan Melvin, has just been diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL). My brother has all along been physically very fit, and enthusiastic about sports. He loves his weekend soccer game with his friends, as well as his love for badminton. He has recently ORD from NS, and waiting to enrol into NUS for his double-degree in Engineering and Business. However he was given this physical and mental challenge, when he is only 20 years old.

A young man like Melvin, with a bright future, plus he's a born fighter, I know he will be strong throughout the treatment process. As in like other cancers, chemotherapy treatment will be done for Melvin, and this does not come without side effects. His platelets will be destroyed during chemotherapy, and he will need transfusion whenever his platelets count fall low. The information shown below in BLUE are information provided by Singapore General Hospital for the public to know more about platelets donation.

What is Platelet then?
Platelet is the the smallest of the cells in the blood. It is essential for the clotting of blood.

Who needs Platelet Transfusion?
Patients with blood disorders, leukemia or cancer may need frequent platelet transfusions as their platelets are destroyed after chemotherapy, radiation treatment or stem cell transplant.

What is Platelets Donation?
Platelets donation or platelet-pheresis is a special kind of blood donation that allows platelets to be extracted from whole blood though a blood separator machine.

How is Platelets Donation performed?
A needle is inserted into your vein at the forearm after applying local anaesthetic. Sterile procedure tubings are connectedto the needle and blood is drawn from your vein into the blood separator machine, which will separate the platelets from whole blood. The rest of your blood will be returned to you to avoid further blood loss. The procedure is painless and will take approximately 1-2 hours to complete.

Is Platelets Donation safe?
Platelets donation is very safe because only platelets are removed from the blood. All equipment that comes into direct contact with the blood is disposable, used only once and thrown away. Occasionally, the donor may experience a slight tingling sensation around the lips and nose, or feel slightly cold during the donation process, but these symptoms pass quickly.

How often can I donate platelets?
You can donate platelets every two weeks but the total number of donations should not exceed 24 times a year.

To be eligible for donating platelets, you have to meet the following criteria:

Between 18 to 55 years old.
Weigh at least 50kg.
Did not donate red blood during the last 3 months.
Do not have a history of diabetes, hypertension and asthma.
Did not have flu, fever, cough or sore throat in the past one week.
Did not take antibiotics and flu medication in the past one week.
Did not travel to India, Nepa, and other rural countries within the last 6 months.
Did not take anti-malaria pills within the last 6 months.
Have not been exposed to chicken pox in the last 6 months.
Have good prominent veins on both forearms.
Willing to spend approximately 2 hours during the actual donateion process for platelets donation.

If all the above criteria are met, the doctor will examine you and your consent will be taken for the donation. Your blood sample will be taken and tested.

Do I have to pay for the screening procedure?
No. The screening and laboratory fees will be charged to the patient.

Platelets cannot be stored for too long, from what I know the shelf life is around 72 hours. Therefore when the call for platelets come, it is an emergency when we need donors to come forward readily to donate sufficient platelets as needed by my brother. It is safer to have our own guaranteed pool of donors so that in times of emergency, my brother will receive the treatment promptly.

This is the second time I am have some one close to me down with leukemia. This time round someone even closer, even dearer. Even if it's not for my brother, it is also for the other patients who are caught in the same situation. My brother's blood group is O+, and he will need O+ donors. For non O+ people who are interested in becoming potential donors, you can always approach Singapore General Hospital, Haemtology Centre, Block 7 Level 2. The staff will advise you on what to do. Please do help to spread the word regarding platelets donation, it will be greatly appreciated.

For kind hearted souls who are keen on donating platelets to my brother, please contact me directly as I will be coordinating with the hospital with regards to platelets donation for Melvin. I can be reached at mobile +65 9635 4372, email mavischng@gmail.com.

My family and I are trying to digest the news in the best efforts we can, so that we can give Melvin all the support and help in the whole treatment process. I sincerely extend my gratitude to all who had shown care and concern, as well as to extend help and support to the family in one way or another.

わたしのおっとです

2009-03-04T10:57:00.002+08:00

A BIG thank you to my dearest husband! Mavis is now a very happy girl. There's no way that I can contain my excitement and joy. No matter how hard I try, my face will be gleaming with happiness whenever I think of that card which is currently sitting comfortably in my wallet. =)

I'm now a proud member ofきのくにや(紀伊国屋), because my dearest husband went to get the membership done for me secretly. I was pleasantly surprised when he flashed the envelope in front of my eyes. Thank you husband!

Now that I have the card, I have more reasons to feel less guilty about sweeping books off the book shelves in the store. =)

My husband loves me. I love my husband too. =)

rewinding time

2009-03-02T22:57:00.004+08:00

It was a chat with my secondary school ex-classmate over MSN, and it evoked memories of my days working as a research writer.

Looking back, I ended up as a research writer by chance. It never was a dream to work and produce entertainment productions. I had always thought of going into news and current affairs, fate decided that I would be blessed with that few months. That few months that I never regretted having, that few months that I missed badly when I look back. I fell in love with the job, the chemistry worked out in that few months, which I never thought would happen.

Fate also decided that I will move on in life, to take on new challenges and grow up as an individual. I think it is happening. It may seem that nothing much had happened, but so much took place. I learnt so much in these 2 months, perhaps as much as what I learnt in the first 2 months when I started working. The only difference is the set of skills I picked up. At work, I picked up skills needed for work. Right now, I picked up skills needed for me to grow up.

It used to hurt badly when I look back into the old days. It still hurt I must admit, but it's because I fell in love with the job. Moving on is important, and I fully regconise it. Greater plans are ahead of me, I need to do what I need to do. Fate again will decide my upcoming path, which I look forward to witness what is in store for me.

Looking back is not to wallow in self pity, I know. I used to do it, but not now. I dont get as worked up anymore, and I'm pretty sure I wouldnt be at all in the near future. I'm the key to opening up myself and let people understand me. Not based on what happened in the past. The past was an old self. The present and future is who I am, and will be. The past will affect my present and future, but there is no way that I will revert to the old me, because human beings change constantly. I've realised the importance of change. It will create a better world for my loved ones and myself to live in. We dont live alone in this world, we dont live in our own worlds. Change is definitely necessary if it can create a better world, make relationships work better.

I admit I am stubborn, and old habits die hard. As difficult as it may seem, I am proud to say that I've tried, and I'm trying, and will always be.

I want these to drop from the sky!

2009-02-25T23:50:00.002+08:00

Horrible cravings now, things that I want but can live without with. But I dont mind if these things can drop from the sky, they will make me VERY happy!!

I want a Kinokuniyaきのくにや（紀伊国屋）membership card, and lots of vouchers for me to make purchases at the stores. This is because of my recent obsession with reading/books. My reading range has expanded so widely now that there are so many books that I want to read, but I'm too lazy to go to the Central library to get them. Another reason is that I love sniffing out the new books, they smell so good! And I take good care of my books, as much as possible I would keep them in tip top condition. For owned books, I get to read them at my own pace, own time, own target, not having to worry about due dates. And I dont just buy any books, but books that can withstand the trial of time, in my own definition of course.

Enough said, I'm really tempted to get the membership card done soon. But I shall try to convince myself to get the membership as a gift after I have achieve my goal. 忍！

Horrified

2009-02-25T16:41:00.002+08:00

It's really scary to realise that I'm actually a very shallow person, knowing so little, assuming so much.

There is a sudden craving for more knowledge.

I suddenly feel like going back to school now.

成长随笔

2009-02-25T11:05:00.002+08:00

人的心智需要随着时间的流逝，一天比一天的增进。

即使瘫痪在沙发上，只要仔细思考人生当中的点滴，反复检讨和反省，学习如何成为一个更好的人，这就是成长。

还记得小时候很讨厌阅读。读没几分钟就会感到不耐烦，不然就是呼呼睡着。这或许是一种排斥心态在作祟，因为小时候老妈会拿着藤鞭督促我阅读。如果不能准确的把一本书的文字都朗诵给她听，我就准备吃藤条。所以我最怕碰到又厚、又长、又臭、又闷的篇幅的书。说不定这就是促成我爱阅读篇幅较短于小说的散文的原因。至今我还是深爱于散文，虽然我也慢慢爱上了小说，但是在我心深处，散文还是占着无法动摇的位置。

书本给人的是无限的知识。换个角度来看，其实就跟我们的互联网有太多相似处。互联网给人们的资讯也是无限的，该如何取舍，这就需要时间学习和磨练。想想，任何传播媒体所传达的信息都是需要认真的筛选，取之精华，去除糟粕。

市面上的书很多，好书也不少，但是要适合自己的好书就要看缘分。较前到台湾去，目标只是要买吴淡如的书，因为新加坡的售价太高，我舍不得买。谁知道我每一次走进书店，我都会有至少一样战利品。就这样，我买了我没想过会买的书。其中一本《冷读术》是跟吴淡如的书一起售卖的，购买它们有特价。就这样我把这本书带回了新加坡。这本书我读了很久，不是因为内容冗长烦闷。相反这本书的内容十分有趣，非常容易阅读，而且非常适用于现实生活。读这么久，就是因为我不断的反复的翻阅这本书，在有需要时翻到我想找的内容，然后立即改变生活现状或者就寻找解决问题的办法。更重要的是，每一次我都能成功的解决问题或者摆脱困境。不论走到哪里，这本书是我的好伙伴。《冷读术》让我看到生活中存在的许多问题，并且提醒我去面对它们。阅读的力量，在此处发挥得淋漓尽致。

今日的我不会是昨日的我。有些老习惯依然存在，但是每一天的我都会不断的改变。看不到不代表不存在。创造更好的明天，这就是我人生中的其中一个目标。

Say a little prayer...for me

2009-02-18T11:50:00.002+08:00

Call me ignorant, call me silly, call me a fool. In some circumstances, one usually will end up putting their faith in some extraordinary power. (In my case, fate.)

I need a place where I can draw strong emotional support.

A little prayer is where I can seek what I need most now.

书友

2009-02-12T00:09:00.002+08:00

很满足，今天找到书友。

天马行空的聊我们各自最爱的作家，平时爱看的书，这是一种享受。

好友满天下哦！

学习

2009-02-09T17:41:00.002+08:00

这段在家的日子，是一段很宝贵的学习经验。

这段日子让我认真思考自己的人生，让我重新认识自己，了解自己，改造自己。

学习是件快乐的事。我很享受学习所带来的喜悦。就如同知名作家吴淡如所说的，学习新的事物，克服学习新东西的障碍和问题，可以给一个人带来满足感。这种满足感，可以激励人类，建立自信心。

读书，给我带来了许多惊喜，也让我进一步的了解自己。原来自己懂得东西是那么的少！这世界还有很多东西等着我去发现，尝试新的体验！

人生就是要这样，不断的学习。

Today is a SUAY day

2009-02-04T23:42:00.004+08:00

Everything seems to go wrong today. Took photos for my resume, but when I just took a closer look at it, I seem to have a missing ear! Looks REALLY weird! Wasted my money again. I shall stick to my property agent look photo.

I was applying for a job today, it was an online application. After I have filled up all the particulars carefully and pressed the "submit" button, all the information was gone and nothing had been processed!!! Which means I have to re-enter all the information again, and it's another 15minutes.

When I thought all was over, I realised I didnt close the cap of my bottle properly today. Water leaked into my bag without me knowing, and when I was unpacking, I found my ほん(book), にほんごのきょうかしょ(Japanese textbook), and my ノート(notebook) wet! Worst of all my ノート(notebook) tore and I have to re-copy them again, but I dont have any spare ノート(notebook) that I can use! Which means I have to buy one tomorrow and rush to finish copying all the notes before class tomorrow evening!

Honey say I am useless, to let such small things get to me. Oh well, I still feel irritated, when things dont move on smoothly recently especially.

On a random note, I have a habit of browsing through my ROM photographer Kelvin's blog on a regular basis, as well as his colleagues' blogs for pretty pictures. I've just looked through my cousin's wedding pictures that she uploaded to facebook. So pretty! I'm so looking forward to mine, even though 30122008 is more than a month ago. It will be a day that I will remember forever! I cant wait for Kelvin's set of pictures so that I can do up my ROM video. Something which I will convince honey to play it on our customary wedding banquet should there be one. Something which I will show to my kids and share the joy with them! Today's the 4th Feb. Kelvin promised that I will be able to get them before V day. I shall convince myself to wait patiently.

减肥计划

2009-02-03T00:10:00.002+08:00

过农历新年，桌上摆满零食，从早到晚，贪吃的庄淑卿就是吃吃吃，开始肥肥肥。好不容易瘦了下来，怎么可能让自己又在身上长那么多肉？！家人之后更加要让自己保持苗条迷人的魅力，不然怎么抓得住老公的心？

我决定了。从此刻开始，下定决心减减减，让自己瘦瘦瘦！目标47公斤，我来了！

我的牛年

2009-01-29T13:33:00.003+08:00

今年不再以单身身份过年，所以要和往年有些不同。大年初一，大年初二，我跟老公穿了情侣装跟大家拜年！大年初一！粉红上衣隆重登场！大年初二！可爱狗狗磁铁t-shirt上阵！还是从台湾买回来的！（虽然新加坡也有卖，但是这是我们度蜜月时买的，所以特别有意义和纪念价值。）
晚上我们到了春到河畔凑热闹！我和牛大哥！老公和羊咩咩！

Happy MOOO year!

2009-01-25T16:02:00.002+08:00

新年快乐！牛牛大哥大姐要来咯！（我也老一年了。。。）

年年难过年年过。与其愁眉苦脸，不如嘻嘻哈哈的过年。哭也是过年，笑也是过年。哭也是过一天，笑也是过一天。人的一生到底有多少天？不如选择多些快乐的日子，顺便用笑声把所有的霉运驱走！

新的一年，我的要求并不多。我只希望早点找到一份合意的工作，快点上班，快点零薪水，快点把所有的债务给清完，快点存多一点钱来摆酒。我是个凡人。

牛大哥，牛大姐！您就怜惜怜惜我这个弱女子吧！

Happy MOOO year!

Ahhh Choo!

2009-01-22T18:37:00.003+08:00

Bad omen bad omen. A few days prior to Chinese New Year and I'm sneezing and sniffing away. I'm just so lucky!

I had flu jabs for both Northern and Southern hemisphere, but I still caught the flu bug. Disgusting.

I hate the giddy spells that comes with the stupid bugger. My Japanese language class is at 8.30pm later. I hope I wont faint on my way to the class. If I do collapse halfway, please send me home. I dont want to spend my cny in the hospital. Touchwood!

I want to recover soon! If possible, IMMEDIATELY!

feeling useless

2009-01-21T12:23:00.003+08:00

Difficult times, difficult times, even more difficult times when there's so much shit going on in life when I thought the worst is over.

Feeling horribly useless now.

Nothing I do seems right.

淡水，渔人码头

2009-01-19T12:56:00.006+08:00

淡水和渔人码头都是很漂亮的地方，可以让你舒舒服服在台北度过写意的一天。
抵达淡水就碰上雨丝，我和老公就决定先到Dunkin Donuts解馋。
顺便喝杯热咖啡暖暖身。
Hmm，看了就忍不住流口水。
我的最爱！肉桂口味的！
还有震动仪！可以取饮料时它就会震动。烤鸟蛋。烤虾卷。
BB枪！
一级棒的烤鱿鱼！鱿鱼的须须！
好想再吃！
哈哈！保险套世界！在里面逛了一圈，什么都没买。
我和老公的第一张大头贴，而且还是在台湾拍的！
漂亮的渔人码头，但是奉劝大家，还是坐船或搭车去比较好。从淡水走到渔人码头是很长的一段路，而且路上没有什么好看的。此情此景，吾牢记于心。

五分埔

2009-01-19T11:46:00.005+08:00

已经没有办法照旅程顺序来写部落格，因为发现照片的程序有些太乱了。还是按照地点来写比较妥当。

多日没有写部落格，因为这几天忙着跑医院。每每终于动手术了，现在已经回家休养了，谢谢大家的关心。

我也开始上日语课了，开始了另一个学习的旅途。

废话不多说，看照片吧。
五分埔。
到处都是衣服和饰品！
香喷喷鸡蛋糕！什么来的？好大的Takopachi！当天的其中一个收获。其他的收获包括了很多双袜子，两个腰带，几个小钱包。不是买很多，因为怕行李超重带不回新加坡。=p

光华商场，Nova

2009-01-13T16:23:00.004+08:00

去台北要去那里逛呢？因为老公是个电脑疯狂者，我们去了光华商场，就是新加坡的Sim Lim Square，还有Nova。光华商场的规模比Nova来得大许多，而且附近还有售卖电子及电脑等的店，我称之为科技街。
我说的科技街。
光华商场。终于找到光华商场，老公无比开心。
摆放在光华商场大门的大娃娃。Nova。

Photos of ROM out!

2009-01-09T13:17:00.004+08:00

Yay! The photos for the ROM taken by Avenue8 Kelvin Joshua Lim is out! He has posted it on his blog at www.simpleinspirations.com. Kelvin put in so much effort in putting the pictures together! 4am in the morning and he is still working on the video. A really BIG THANK YOU to Kelvin!

With lots of gratitude and love from Mr and Mrs Boey Mo Kiang to you dearest Kelvin! =)

台湾蜜月照

2009-01-09T00:14:00.012+08:00

别急别急，接下来会有更多的照片，让你们看得过瘾！我和老公一起在台北渡过了2008年的最后一天，一同携手跨入2009年！虽然只是短短的5天蜜月旅行，但是却过得很充实，很开心，很幸福。虽然只是短短的5天蜜月旅行，我就拍了800多张照片。老公说我很无聊，什么东西乱七八糟的都拍。我只不过是想留住更多美丽的回忆，跟大家一起分享，日后还能给我们的孩子看哦！（我们没那么快生孩子！最快也要三五年后！）

2008年12月31日，两只大熊猫起早摸黑就起床，梳洗完毕就往酒店大厅退房。我们的房间号码。房间非常舒服，床非常大，也非常舒服，但是我和老公就是睡不好。（我们没有在“忙”什么！就单纯只是睡不着。）半夜起来好几次，根本就没有什么睡到。你看黑眼圈就知道了。
酒店帮我们呼叫了德士去机场，我（们）就不停的拍照来打发时间。当时是凌晨6点20分，很多人都还在呼呼大睡。
办好登机手续后就是吃早餐！了解我的人都知道我每天早上一定要喝咖啡，一天没喝到咖啡就醒不过来。
吃饱了，我们都很开心的等待上飞机，开始我们夫妻俩人生中的另一个旅途。
登机咯！度蜜月怎么能忘了我们的孩子呢！
Welcome to Taiwan!计程车收费好贵！
从桃园机场到麒麟大饭店要新币$50！
终于抵达麒麟大饭店。这是我们的房号。记得去买4D喔。我们的第一站。西门町。第一眼就被这“鸭肉扁”的招牌深深迷惑。
热腾腾的面汤。配上美味的鸭肉扁。
好吃的卤味！阿宗面线。哦！！！罗志祥。。。的海报。哈哈！不过在我们快要返回饭店乘车去机场时，我们真的碰上了罗志祥的签名会哦！我还买了《潮男正传》的专辑，本来还可以签名拍照，但是因为要赶飞机所以就错失了机会。我不是罗志祥的歌迷，我是想要作弄我的小妹而已。CD是给小妹的啦！豆花汤圆，豆花绿豆汤。哎哟，我在捷运自动扶梯上的淑女照。通往国父纪念馆的路。动画！1。。。
2。。。3。。。4。。。嘻哈笑闹，很快乐。哇！蒋介石的私家车！很Bling Bling哦！我们来到了信义区的鼎泰丰总店！等了一个半小时才能进去哦！老公又饿又冷，一定要取暖！
各种不同的美食。蟹粉小笼！原味鸡盅面！

酸辣汤！好喝哦！好满足！

真的是太多太多的照片了！我还是分批跟大家分享吧，不然我会累死！跟多照片，下回再分享！

Some pictures!

2009-01-08T11:40:00.008+08:00

The wait is over! Alright I should say semi over, because I havent got all the photos of the ROM yet, only managed to get some from my brother and dearest da-sao, plus some of the stupid photos that I took before and after the event.

I am still waiting for those from Kelvin, he's the photographer that we hired from Avenue8. Kelvin Joshua Lim is a darn cool photographer! Honey and I like him SOOOO much! I would seriously think we would still want him for our wedding photoshoot as well as our customary wedding.

Okay on the note about customary wedding, my dad already opened his mouth that he wants one, or else seriously I would give it a miss. I cant imagine all the pre-work that has to be done for customary wedding. Then again, I already have some ideas in my mind what I want to do for that day. =p

Anyway, some photos to share to kill everyone's dying thirst for now. I will put up more photos when I get the pictures from Kelvin. Honeymoon photos will also come soon. There's so much to do even after the ROM and honeymoon! 800+ photographs for a 5-day honeymoon. Honey said I'm one nut case, snapping useless pictures everywhere I go.
The bridal suite. BIG and cosy bed.
My accessories for the day, plus the ring pillow.
In the middle of makeup.
I look so white!The Princess for the day with her dearest buddy!
The Glass Pavillion.
Beautiful RED ROSES!!The signing table.Side decorations.The petals aisle.The march-in. Princess and the King.
My dad handed me over to Jeffrey.
Solemnization ceremony.
Champagne pouring.
Toast to everybody! =)Ring the bell!The buffet dinner reception at Shutters.

More pictures to come another time!

I am Mrs Boey/Ms Chng now!

2009-01-05T23:02:00.002+08:00

Hey everyone! I'm back from my honeymoon! I am now Mrs Boey, but then I am always Ms Chng. (Note: "Ms", not "Miss")

I am now trying very hard to get all the pictures of the ROM from everyone, as many as possible, because I have only 1 pathetic photo in my camera and somemore it's taken by my husband!

Pictures of the ROM and Taiwan trip to come soon! =)

多几个小时。。。

2008-12-30T10:23:00.001+08:00

在多几个小时就是良辰了！好紧张！（我猜亲爱的比我还要紧张！）

不知不觉时间过得真快，转眼就是2008年12月30日了。两年纪念，老公，Happy Anniversary！

时间差不多了，我该去拿我的手花了！

等我从台湾回来，跟大家分享很多很多的照片！=）

还有一天！

2008-12-29T14:01:00.002+08:00

1天！还有1天就是大日子了！

还有好多好多东西没做！今天就是感觉懒洋洋的，想在家舒舒服服的看节目！看什么？看《小娘惹》！怎么说我也是个娘惹婆，可是深深的被这部戏里的娘惹文化勾住魂了！

突然好想吃娘惹糕啊。。。

还有2天！

2008-12-28T00:26:00.005+08:00

心情是越来越紧张！多两天就注册结婚了！穿上白白的小礼服，牵着老公温暖的手，甜蜜蜜的感觉一定很棒！

我现在已经好多了，多谢大家近来的关心。人逢喜事精神爽嘛！（虽然还是有不少混蛋惹我发火，我时候再跟你们算帐！）

今年的圣诞节过得还不错，拍了不少漂亮的照片跟大家分享。
我和美女Linda姐姐。我和青春美少女雪丽姐姐。
我们再来一张！
我和可爱甜姐儿雪忆姐姐。
我和小帅哥Gavin。
老妈真幸福！帅哥送香吻！好嫉妒哦！
来来。帅哥再跟我合照一张！我不可以输！

好紧张哦！我要结婚了。。。因为要注册，要特别去做头发。看以上的照片就知道咯！美美哦~

9 more days to Mrs Boey

2008-12-22T11:26:00.002+08:00

Another 9 days and I will be Mrs Boey, no more Miss Chng. (Then again I will still call myself Ms Chng, muahaha...)

Finally resting at home, doing nothing but eat, live and be merry. Sounds like a useless person, but I need to be such a bum. For people who knows, the horror has returned. This time round different in the sense that I am on medication.

Last week I was still feeling numbed about the wedding. Finally I am getting some reaction to it, beginning to feel anxious. Main concern now is the dress, I put on so much weight recently that I have some problems fitting into the dress nicely. Time to lose more weight! I better get my mum to keep all my tidbits away from me. Which means no more junk food for endorphins! (Endorphins actually mean Endogenous Morphins! My new discovery! =p)

Time to do something more constructive, let me look around...Hmm

最后

2008-12-14T22:04:00.000+08:00

终于做出了最后的决定，整个人好受多了。

明天就会做个了解，结束所有的折磨。

不值得，真的不值得。

解放咯！

=）

Stop your accusations!

2008-12-11T23:24:00.002+08:00

Work is driving me mad, when things happened suddenly, and I had to find ways out of it, already trying very hard, but yet I hear things like I am not doing my work. Crap. I cant tolerate accusations! Stop pushing me, I will snap anytime, I dont know when I will lose it. I also want to do my work properly, dont think I am trying to skive.

Please, stop it.

感恩

2008-12-08T18:59:00.003+08:00

虽然人生的道路不好走，但是我很庆幸身边有默默支持我的家人和好友。

感谢家人对我的体谅。当我面对极大生活压力，需要休息无法工作时，老爸老马一点也不责怪，甚至说在我没工作的日子里，会帮我抵消所有开支。我已经长大，而且要嫁人，但是两老还是那么的保护我，照顾我，让我感到十分惭愧。父母对我的疼爱，小时候我竟然不以为然，需要等到长大后才明白父母的苦心。我实在是丢脸。

婚事的繁琐细节，搞到我和亲爱的吵吵闹闹，但是贴心的表姐，还有许多关心我的朋友不断在身旁提醒，我十分感激。

还有就是经常吵吵闹闹的妹妹，说句老实的，她人在日本，身在新加坡的姐姐是想念她的。

刚刚跟怡伶姐通过电话，勾起了我对这份工作的不舍。不是因为她是阿姐，而是因为她的笑声，她的鼓励，她的平易近人，她的一切一切，让这份工作添加精彩！相信这最后一次的外景，我会是快乐的，我也可以为这份工作画上完美的休止符。

不知道我跟这份工作的缘分会不会就到此为止，但是还是要感谢带我入行的S先生。谢谢你教了我那么多。我也知道自己有很多不好的地方，都希望你能原谅，不计前嫌。至少你给了我快乐的9个月的回忆。

华姐，谢谢你给我的机会。谢谢你对我的提拔。如果有缘，希望我们能再次为您服务。

杨大哥，很高兴能够认识你。你是个好人，第一份差事就跟你合作，那是我的荣幸。

贞姐，给您添了不少麻烦，谢谢你的教导。

男哥，我好怀念跟你们说说笑笑的日子！

雪丽姐姐，很高兴认识你。如果没有你在身旁为我打气加油，我想我也走不到这一天。

凤姐，我第一份工作就是跟您合作，我这一生也无怨无悔啦！

怡伶姐，你就像一个大姐姐不断的在指引方向，你的开朗，你的专业让我欣赏无疑。

李大师，祝你生意兴隆！财源滚滚哦！

芳芳，没想到世界那么小，原来我们都有彼此认识的人！加油哦！不要别人怎么说，我相信你能做到！

J，你真的是一个开心果！我会怀念你的笑声的！

还有就是许许多多公司里的同事，即使没有直接合作，但是能够认识你们已经是一种缘分！

或许你们不会看到这则部落，但是这不掩盖我对大家的感激和思念。谢谢你们。

钱的祸害

2008-12-06T02:56:00.002+08:00

钱不是万能，但是没钱万万不能！

婚事将近，一切账单陆陆续续进来，金钱上的压力越来越大。因为我决定休息，所以很快就会失业了。

经济不景气，世道越来越乱，很想休息，但是手停口停，加上婚礼的开销，令人窒息。本来一切在预算以内，但是偏偏碰上不合作的朋友，临时改变主意，让我在预算上措手不及。既然作了决定，就不要在临时改变主意。搞不好会闹出人命！

婚礼越来越近，我最近面对的压力排山倒海，非常吃不消。如今老公是我的支柱，让我撑过接下来的日子，所以我不想跟他吵架，本来婚礼的事情都搞定，但是现在出状况，给我们增加了不少压力。

如果我没有决定休息，至少收入上还有着落，但是现在到处都在裁员，工作实在难找。或许朋友不知道钱难赚，但是我不得不狠心告诉她，还是别来了。因为已经爆数了！我不想让老公日子那么难过，所以我不得不这样做。

朋友，实在对不起！

老公，对不起！

钱啊！我得罪了你吗？我跟你说声对不起！您就放过我吧！

Dying

2008-12-01T00:52:00.002+08:00

I am dying, getting burnt out very soon. I never wanted a break so badly, not motivated at all to do anything. Hate this feeling, over-stretched, but I am still being stretched.

Only thing that keeps me going is the BIG DAY. Counting down to it, 29 more days, and I will be Mrs Boey.

Honey, I love you.

渴望

2008-11-26T01:04:00.002+08:00

此刻的心情就是渴望放假，我实在好累好累。

跟华姐说了我需要放假，不然旧病复发就不好了，感觉上卸下心头一块大石。至少我可以开开心心，无忧无虑的出嫁，还有轻轻松松的跟老公度蜜月，不必牵挂公事。我是出了名的有职业病的人，走到哪里，去到哪里都会想到工作，所以每次惹老公生气。现在我终于可以放心了。

其实我非常热爱撰稿的工作，但是现今情况让我精力透支，已经筋疲力尽，再不休息就会犯老毛病，如今已经开始有症状了。如果华姐不嫌弃，还是要回我，我会是一匹会吃回头草的嫩马。我要求的是好好休息。充电后我又能开始冲刺！

渴望。我渴望很多东西。现在渴望的就是家人健康，渴望工作顺利，渴望婚礼如计划进行，渴望大家快快乐乐。渴望，感觉原来就是这样简单。

Back in Singapore

2008-11-24T00:55:00.003+08:00

Hey everyone! I didnt go missing! I was away in Adelaide last week for work, and came back on Friday. Some urgent matters cropped up and I had to attend to them after I got back Singapore, so I didnt update.

Will share more about the trip with everyone when I have more time. For now, just make do with this picture! It was taken at Horseshoe bay in Adelaide!

无助

2008-11-09T17:29:00.002+08:00

不喜欢这样的感觉，明明知道有问题，但是又不能做什么来解决。处处退让，但是于事无补。心痛，因为就如此舍得让我伤心。将心比心，但是只有我知他心，谁来知我心？一针一针扎在我心头，不流血，而是流泪。

又在犯相思，此刻心情更是心如刀割。好痛。

你是否听见我在呐喊？

一心一意把所有差事完成，尽善尽美，只恨时间不够用，分身乏术。

一点也不生气，却充满了泪水。

回想曹戈《Superwoman》，故事女主角因为爱而失去自己，世上多少女子不也是如此？

因为爱，我放弃了自己。

因为爱，我放弃了世界。

因为爱，我选择了你。

因为爱，我什么都不要，只要你。

因为爱，我情愿变无助。